Haven't really done anything like this in awhile. I kind of just needed somewhere to write down everything that I feel like I can't openly say. I guess I'll just dive in.
RELATIONSHIP
I am completely in love with my boyfriend. We have only been together for five months, but I have never felt as amazing as when I'm with him. I'm terrified though, because the thought of being in love with someone who may not be feeling the same way yet, is just scary. I've been hurt by men a number of different ways in the past, and it's made me a little crazy to say the least. I always have the thought in my head that if it happened once, it can happen again even in a different relationship. I don't think he will cheat on me or break up with or anything right now, but he's just such a quiet person and that scares me. I have told him that I'm IN love with him, and he just responded with "I love you too". I'm not sure if he's just not ready to say it or if he thinks those two are the same thing. In my mind, they're different. I have never felt so comfortable with someone as I do with him. I have never loved myself as much as I do when I'm with him. He makes me smile so much that my cheeks hurt. I just wish I could know more about him without having to pry. I want him to show me off. Take pictures of me and brag about me! I can't say enough good things about him to my friends and my family. Granted I don't know what he says about me when I'm not around, but I feel like he doesn't want to tell anyone that he loves me. Ugh I really don't want to fall for someone who doesn't want me in the long run. That is just the ultimate heartbreak. He treats me like a princess and tells me that he loves me, so my hopes are high. I just wish he wasn't so quiet and that he would actually talk to me and let me know his feelings. I hate hate hate the fear of being hurt.
JOB
My job is most definitely one of the coolest jobs to have. I work at a doggy day care, so I basically get paid to watch over groups of dogs. I started off with a pretty great schedule. I'm not huge on working the weekend, but it's money and that's all right by me. When I started working there I usually worked 4-6 days a week, so full time. Around January the owners of the business decided to re-hire an employee that had left around the time I got hired. He wanted to open a restaurant, so he told the bosses he was quitting to go do that. Everything was amazing when that guy was gone. When they hired him back, they took hours from both my boyfriend and I as well as a few others. Not to mention they gave him a dollar pay raise as well. I used to be able to pay my bills, feed myself+boyfriend, and feed my animals all at the same time. Definitely cannot do that anymore. This guy is a complete idiot and has no morals whatsoever. How they thought that bringing him back was a good idea is beyond me. This place went from being my dream job to a hell hole in a number of months. I can't even remember the last time I struggled this hard to live.
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